It is common for people to mistake Community Member with Friendship.
When we are “Friendly” with each other, people think “This is a Friend.”
There are degrees and types of Friends. This is different for every person. We have 10% Friends who are people who we share 10% Commonalities with.
We have 60% Friends who are people who share 60% Commonalities with.
We have 80% Friends who are people who share 80% Commonalities with.
For me, I am not Friends with someone unless we share 80% Commonalities with. For others, they may feel 20% Commonalities is sufficient.
For me, I require Fun and Play and Silliness with Science and Logic… or it isn’t a Friendship. For me, and this is simple, if I’m not laughing with you, then we’re not Friends. If it is serious most of the time, then we’re not Friends.
Community is someone who does Support you and they provide you with that Nourishing Growth you need so you can safely find yourself.
Community is the place where you can Find yourself and then Become yourself.
The problem with most Communities is that they bring Narcissism and Inauthenticity to the Community, which nourishes Delusion and an Abusive Environment that spreads so that NO ONE can be their Authentic Self.
This is why Truth and Honesty in a Community is so important because Narcissism spreads too fast ( 1 week to 3 weeks) before it has penetrated the Community.
Truth and Honesty Nourishes everyone into their Authentic Self where anyone can speak Truth without “shrinking” or “Eggshell walking.”
Friendship has to be mutual. Friendship has to be without Delusion and it requires that everyone is on the same page. Both people must have fun and enjoy the Exchange.
When Friendship is brought up, then both people have to be on board with it. If the feeling is not mutual, then a Friendship is not present.
It is vital that “Friendship” is not faked to preserve hurt feelings. This tactic is Narcissism and lures the “Friend” into a Delusion that the Not-Friend has to now “keep up.”
The “Not-Friend” withdraws, dodges, and pulls away while the “Friend” continues to believe they are Friends, but they can “sense” problems and tension.
In many cases, one “Friend” becomes clingy, driving the other person further away.
All because Truth and Honesty were sacrificed for “Feelings” and “Ego.”