If you want to escape something or change something, you have to learn everything you can about it.

This is what Narcissism was for me. I didn’t just want to get away from my Narcissistic Then-Husband. I wanted everything single one of them to give me a wide birth.

But more than that, I wanted it out of me.

You cannot be exposed to a Narcissist and not become one. It takes 3 months for the Narcissist “seed” to get planted and germinate inside of you. It happens in 3 Stages and it is a Process. And evolution.

Narcissism is a Language. You don’t attract Narcissists. Your Language does. There is nothing that draws people in or repels them faster and more consistently than Language. It is how we recognize people, identify with them, attracts us to them, repels them. It is how we find our people.

If you attract Narcissists, it is because you are a Narcissist. It is in you.

Narcissism begins with Stage #1. The Super Hero Stage. It evolves into Stage #2, The Empath Stage, which toggles Super Hero and Damsel, and then it moves into Stage #3, The Narcissist Stage when Symptoms have moved on to violence and aggression.

Every Empath is a Narcissist.

An Empath is trained by a Former Narcissist. Always. The Empath is required to step into a place within their Subconscious Mind where constant Vulnerability is expected. The “Vulnerability Space” is the Empath’s Prison.

“Think about me!”

“Look what you did to me!”

“You did this to me!”

These Narcissist phrases put and keep the Empath in the Empath’s “Vulnerable” Space too long. This is their training. This is how they become Empaths. They sit there, constantly thinking about everyone else, but themselves. Over Concerned with everyone else to survive.

It is their defense, their Self-Preservation, their Abuser’s expectations. Leave the Empath Space, and they upset the Narcissist.

To be within the Empath Space is to accommodate the Narcissist. And Narcissist’s work day and night to make sure everyone else is always staying inside the Empath’s Vulnerable Prison.

“You hurt me!”

“You’re not thinking about me!”

“You need to not do that!”

Every phrase hi-jacks a Subconscious Mind and drops them into that Prison while using aggression or violence to reinforce the Lesson. Aggression while in the Vulnerable Space is a Subconscious Mind death sentence. A Land Mine.

Vulnerable only means “Open To Receive Intimacy” and “Exposed. It is the softest part of you. This is where Narcissists keep the Empath, train the Empath, so the Empath is most gentle and compliant to the Training.

The Empath feels Compassion, which is the Narcissist’s Door in. They weaponize the Compassion and then steal it, force it, and rob it. It isn’t “Empathy” you’re feeling. It is a state of constant and permanent, Compassion, which has been weaponized against you.

True Empathy is without all Emotion as you logically assess how you can say something gently before speaking to another. In True Empathy, you are preventing the Emotional Pain.

In True Empathy, there is no pain.

Compassion is the real world of Empaths, which the Narcissist (The Empath) has stopped using, which is a tactic of The Narcissist’s Subconscious Mind.

In Narcissism, it is not the Conscious Awareness who is the Narcissist. It is the Subconscious Mind who is the Narcissist, which is why the Narcissist has no idea that they are a Narcissist.

In Stage #1, The Super Hero Stage, the Future Empath/Narcissist is Compassionate and wants to help.

Helping is the real problem. It is the ignition that sparks the Chain Reaction as it disrupts the Damsel’s Natural Lesson of Learning how to Problem Solve. The Super Hero Narcissist has to “save others.” Most likely because they are Projecting their inability to save themselves onto others.

Most likely because their core definition of Love is “To be Needed.”

This “False-Rescue Delusion” rewards the Damsel in Distress. The Damsel (at first) is grateful, which rewards the Super Hero and the cycle repeats, making the Damsel more helpless. Making the Damsel more Dependent. Making the Damsel more weak, which builds up Resentment.

Which is why the Damsel grows Bitter against the Super Hero.

“But how can I get mad at someone so kind.”

Is this kind?

The Damsel lashes out at the Super Hero, who’s Compassion calls him to Civic Duty, over and over and over again. Helping and Saving, Swooping in to save the Day. Every “How to Problem Solve by Mother Nature” Lesson is failed by the Damsel as her Dependence on the Super Hero grows.

The Super Hero is getting tired.

The Damsel is feeling weaker and weaker. She is growing more bitter and bitter. First at the Super Hero for saving her, and at herself for not being able to fix her own problem, and third, because she can see what she is doing to the Super Hero.

Her behavior becomes aggressive and violent.

Now it is the Super Hero who needs help because he is so worn out and malnourished from taking care of the Damsel, that he needs to be saved now.

So he seeks out his own Super Hero, which triggers Possession in the Damsel.

“If they are taking care of you, then how can you take care of me!?”

or

“I should be the one taking care of you! Why did you go to someone else!?”

And the Damsel feels betrayed because her core definition of Love is “To Need Others.”

So “helping others” is mistaken for “Love.”

The Narcissist Seed is Compassion, Over Caring of others, being Grateful, and the Over-Correction of Others (Stage #2). The Over-Correction is Others is where Stage #2 begins and where the Super Hero becomes the Damsel.

Stage #2 is the Super Hero/Damsel Hybrid as the “cross-over” occurs. This is where the Constant state of Compassion has been worn down to Over-Stimulated Exposure so that Pain is processed only at 8, 9, and 10 levels out of 10.

This is not “Sensitive.” Quite the opposite. This is being so numbed to 1 through 7, that it takes an 8, 9, and 10 for the Narcissist to even feel anything.

Stage #2 has two “sides” as does Stage #3. Someone can be a Stage #2 Super Hero or a Stage #2 Damsel. And they can be a Stage #3 Super Hero or a Stage #3 Damsel.

Stage #2 is the “Eggshell Walking Police.” It is the “I will correct you” Protocol instead of the “I need to remove myself from this” Protocol.

It is an aggression or aversion to the 4th Ethic. Boundaries. It is Over Compassion. Needing to Save everyone. Feeling the Civic duty to “protect others.” It is the “Correction of Words” that is Narcissism.

Because the moment you are correcting others, you are non-consensually teaching, which violates the 2nd Ethic and you are no longer using the 4th Ethic (Boundaries and Discernment). Furthermore, the “pain” of someone’s words should not be touching you. If it is, it is because you are Prematurely Socializing while in the “Open To Receive” State too long.

This means you are not Self-Regulating (3rd Ethic).

In one action, the Narcissist has violated 3 Ethics. Narcissism has fully set in.

In December 2023, I recognized the Symptoms in myself and immediately added the If/Then Clause “If X is Narcissism, Then I will do the Opposite” and, within 5 months, I was 100% Symptom Free.

In April 2024, I was able to identify a Narcissist in a former Business Partner and was able to reject them from my life. It took me 3 months to Identify the Narcissist. I invented Abstractic, the Narcissist-Free Language, and, since then, I have successfully repelled all Narcissists from my life.

Today, in writing this Article, I saw it.

A Friend (who lives with a Narcissist), in the last two weeks has had a change in behavior. Their Compassion has significantly increased. They began policing my words instead of exercising Self-Regulation (3rd Ethic) and Boundaries (4th Ethic), and, I noticed my sudden “Eggshell Walking” around them so as to not upset them.

And then, yesterday, he slammed the 4th Ethic.

My Conscious Awareness recognized the symptoms today. But my Subconscious Mind recognized the Symptoms last week and immediately withdrew, making the Social Changes (4th Ethic) that I require to protect myself instead of contracting Narcissism.

Which means I found the way, there is a way, to train the Subconscious Mind to Self-Preserve Intuitively against Narcissism and it took the actions required without my Conscious Awareness even knowing about it.

This article is part of The Narcissist Cure that teaches you how to become aware and identify Narcissism in and around you, while also teaching you what you need to remove Narcissism from you.