After being an asshole to you and abusing you, the Narcissist will EXCUSE their ABUSE and dismiss it by saying,

“It was Devil’s Advocate” or

“I am just passionate.”

“I am a Dom. This is how we Dominate.” (Kinksters! Watch out for this one!)

“I love Formal Argument and Debate.”

NO! IT IS NOT.

They are DOWN playing the Abuse AND hiding it WITH a FALSE LIE.

It makes you thinking YOU overreacted. 

It makes YOU “redefine” these Definitions. 

NO. This one is HARD because their Downplaying it WITH innocence is CONFUSING. 

That is the LIE. 

And then they play Confused and Innocent. 

And when you get mad, they get even MORE “Confused and Innocent.” 

They may throw in a “You’re so sensitive” in there, GASLIGHTING YOU. 

Say, “That is a MASKED Red Herring. I See you.”

And walk away. Never talk to them again. Cut them out. 

Of all the plays they have, this one is the hardest because it is COMPOUNDED.