This is the handbook almost each and every one of us got from the Narcissists in our lives. And it is the same book.
The thing is, Narcissists received a memo for “Opposite Day.” Once you know someone is a Narcissist, just pretend they are talking to you from “the other side of Alice’s Looking Glass” and then everything they say will make sense.
But this book of theirs, “How To Be A Good Person,” has got to go.
If we remove the book wrap, the true title of their book is revealed. “How To Serve A Narcissist Until You Are Their Submissive Little Slave.”
This Handbook, is the core problem that haunts everyone who has every been exposed to a Narcissist.
A “Good” Person, is only a Person who WANTS to be good AND who follows the 12 Ethics.
That is it.
Wanting to be good is not good enough. Trying to be good matters, but is not good enough. To be a good person, you have to commit to learn from our mistakes and commit to do better.
It is the Commitment to Learning AND the pursuit of the 12 Ethics that makes a person a good person.
I have met MANY people who want to be good people. Who think they are good. Who have some Ethics (NOT the 12 Ethics), and who refuse to learn. And they area not at all people who I would call “good” people. I call them lost. I call them very confused. Many of those people were downright bad people and toxic.
This is why I say they must both be Committed to Learning AND pursue the 12 Ethics.
- Obedience is the first thing we are taught by the Narcissist.
- “Listening” to them or “Trusting them.”
- “Loving” them by “proving” our love through Helping them
- Helping them. A lot. Often. All the time.
- Being told we have to accept their help or being called “selfish” or “ungrateful” if we don’t.
- It’s best to just assume “help” is toxic
- Demanding attention, Hoarding attention,
- Hoarding at all
- Requiring their attention
- Serving them and being “on call” for their every need
- Feeling “bad” when you put yourself first
- Feeling “bad” if you disobey
- Putting the Narcissist first, no matter what
Hate Narcissism so much, that you instantly commit to do the exact opposite of what they have taught you to do.
Manifest “If X is a Narcissist trait, Then I will do the opposite of X.”