What a Healthy 4th Ethical Perspective Looks Like :
Ah, yes! The Healthy 4 year old! The Bossy Child who tells everyone else what to do! The TATTLER. This is the Child who “Polices” everyone else.
The Trial of the 4th Ethic is to learn HOW to take those Laws and USE THEM ON THEMSELVES. They need to learn BOUNDARIES.
If you have a Tattler or someone who polices others, or someone who is bossy, they need to learn how to INTERNALIZE that Projected Law Making they are trying to enforce on others.
The Trial of The 4th Ethic
To learn that the Rules and Structure they desire comes from Within through Self-Control and Self-Law.
The Value of The 4th Ethic
Following The Rules and Obedience for Fairness.
What a Traumatized 4th Ethical Perspective Looks Like :
- Democrats
- Police
- Military
- Strict
These are the people who will MAKES you obey the law. And “This hurts me more than it hurts you!” and also “I’m doing this for your own good!” Yeah… These are the people who never learned how to HAVE Self-Control, so they Project that loss of Control onto everyone else.
What Happened?
Mummy and Daddy would not let these people as Children make ANY Decisions for themselves. They permitted abuse. These are the people who grew up knowing — too well — what happens when people hurt others.
They learned Courage (1st Ethic), but they didn’t learn the 2nd Ethic (Self-Authority) or Self-Regulation. They were beaten too much as a child and saw the Injustice that occurs when “things aren’t fair.”
But they never learned that they have the Authority to Make their own Laws and to SPEAK their own Boundaries.
They may not have been allowed to speak. They may fight for the underdog. They are “Lawfully Good” even if it kills you. Yes, this is a contradiction.
Logic is the 11th Ethic. You won’t learn that until much later. They focus a lot on Respect, which means “Fairness” to them because they feel that “Age” is what makes Fairness. And “Experience” is what makes Fairness
This Ethic is where our Hierarchy comes from. It is their way of “Making Things Fair.” They *really* don’t know how to have Boundaries and Personal Laws.
Symptoms?
- Obsession with Right and Wrong
- Obsession with Following the Rules
- Symptoms of the 3rd Ethic.
- “Busy Body” and telling everyone else what to do.
- Obsession with Politics
- Obsession with everyone else’s Gender Preferences
- Obsession with Morality and Justice
How to fix this if it’s you?
Humble Submission to learn. Admitting that you’re Wrong. Empathy. Using that “Control” on your own Self and practicing your own Boundaries.
Most likely, you felt like what you wanted didn’t matter. You most likely were always treated unfairly and you have dealt with that imbalance of justice. So you’re still looking for it.
You need The 12 Ethics, Deconstructing Trauma. With an Emphasis on the 6th Ethic and the 4th Ethic.
How to fix this if it’s a Loved One?
Gently remind them that you are quite capable of being Different and that you value your Self-Authority.
Set Boundaries and stick to them. Ask them why they are angry and what “Right and Wrong” means to them.
Most likely — and I do mean like… 100% of the time — these people are feeling and thinking, “It’s not fair! Why do they get to do that when I couldn’t!”
And validate that injustice! They are right! It wasn’t Fair! Validate that! Invite them to do it now. Assure them that they are Psychologically Safe enough to talk about that.
Most likely a Father denied them a part of themselves they were not allowed to have.