So I had my Power Animal released on Sunday… and since them my Imagination has just been… UNLEASHED!
And all the Magical parts of me that were inside came flooding out.
I look down at the Hammer in my hand and I turn it over deep in thought.
This is not at all the World we were promised, was it?
They lied to us.
Only, I knew they were lying from the get go. So I never got in the box… and boy did I suffer for it.
So I’m standing here with my Hammer. Breaking down Delusions. Freeing the Fiction. Breaking the 4th Wall and the Veil. And I’m looking at the World going…
This… This isn’t what they said it was.
So then… what is it? The Truth?
When I sat holding my Alter in my arms while she sobbed into me, screaming about how real she wasn’t because she was an Alter, I thought about what I should say to her.
What I should tell her.
She lived my life. Had three children. Married two husbands.
She loved me so much that she locked me up in my mind and took the brunt of all the pain and abuse for me so that My Mind could remain whole and untouched, unbroken, and Free while I was forced to endure…
Closes that door
Too much of a mind fuck.
All the ways my Identity screamed to warn me for 32 years.
You don’t know what it feels like to grow up inside Imagination.
Or maybe you do.
I turn the hammer over in my hand.
So Now I ask you… Do you know what Reality is?
If Joanna believed she was not Real, how do I explain the 32 years, 3 children, and 2 husbands she had?
What would that have done to my Sanity if I believed, if she believed she wasn’t Real?
Do you know?
So pardon me if I tell the world to Fuck Off in their “definitions” of Reality because I doubt you or they or any fuck Psychologist ever held their Alter in their arms sobbing while they demanded to know, “Am I Real?”
You. Don’t know. My Shoes.
When I held a part of me who loved me so much she locked me deep in the Mind to keep me safe and whole while this world broke her mind into pieces to accommodate their STUPID RULES.
You. Don’t Know.
What she did for me…
I will tell you what I learned that day.
I learned that Don Quixote IS Miguel De Cervantes.
“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!” – Miguel De Cervantes
I am an Author.
Authors create Delusions of their Own to hide themselves from Abusers. They put on a Character that is not Fiction. They speak their words in side their Voices. They dress up in Costume and Stage to protect their Life and Mind from Abuse.
The Delusion of The Big Bad Wolf who invented a Fantasy of Power, Authority, and Puppeted Control… The Big Bad Wolf and his Puppet Show…
The Victim built Delusion too… they Invented Theater, Story, and Stage where they could safely speak their Truth whereas the Big Bad Wolf could speak their Lies.
And it’s time that Both Delusions all come down.
My Rune and Gudrun… My Daggon… My Loki…
My Kallan. My Bergen.
They are as real as My Alter, Joanna.
They all are a Piece of a Very Real Me.
And John Galt IS Ayn Rand.
And Alice IS Lewis Carroll.
The Bullies and Abuser were just too stupid to recognize True Reality when we gave it to them. But While we’re Breaking Their Delusion, let’s also end ours, shall we?
This is why the world is Inauthentic. Abusers are putting on Puppet Shows for Lies while Victims are telling stories to Mask Truth.
And every Author in the world knows this.
Shakespeare knew it.
“All the World is a stage.”
When you stand at The Point of Comprehension where you can see all Truth, you learn two things fast:
Shakespeare spoke Literally.
Christ spoke Metaphorically.
We got them both mixed up.
Christ was in the Abstract. Shakespeare was in the Physical. I am in the Material. Translating from the Abstract.
Literal means “Speaking Precisely what you mean in relativity to Your perspective.”
Metaphorically means “Using Story and Comparisons to imply your meaning to preserve the perspective of Others.”
It’s all relative to which side of the Mirror You’re On. Abstract and Dreams? Or Material and Physical? Lewis Carroll tried to tell you. No one “Got it.”
Abusers Put On Magical Puppet Shows. Victims Put On Story and Theatrical Productions. Authors tell the Truth in Delusions of Fiction.
“All The World Is A Stage.”
I turn my Hammer over in my hand.
Well guess what.
Abusers are Liars who use Magical Puppet Shows to Hide their Lies.
I smash Don Quixote’s Mirror Of Reality, and glass falls to the ground.
Victims use Story to Disguise their Truth right under the noses of Abusers.
I smash Alice’s Looking Glass, and more glass falls to the ground.
Authors invented a Lie called “Fiction,” which is really Themselves in Disguise so they could cry out “The Emperor Is Naked.” Don’t believe me? Read Voltaire.
I smash The Mirror of Erised, and pulverized glass drops to the ground.
So why did we ever let the Bullies cram all of our Imagination behind The Veil?
Why did we ever let the Bullies cram all of our Fae and Magic and Stories behind The 4th Wall?
This is a War For Our Ethics.
This is a War For Our Reality.
For Our Imagination.
For Our Sanity.
For Our Identity.
For Our Truth.
All the things we never should have let them have.
Why did we ever let them Break our Minds? For what? For the Chance that a rotten bully would Love US? For a chance that an asshole might want US? Why did we ever rip out our Selves, Break our Minds, and Suppress our Dreams?
Why did we ever “Slow Down” for them because they are too slow to keep up with us? Why did we ever agree to be Their Secret Keepers to preserve their Safety at the expense of Our Sanity, Voices, and Truth?
For what?
For Love?
Because that sure as fuck wasn’t Love that they showed us… I know because I have seen love.
Love is in the sobs of a frightened girl who cried in my arms with her Broken Mind which she used as a Shield to keep Me, My Love, and My Truth Whole and Sane.
Love is an Imp King who looked at me and called me a Queen and a Goddess while I stood before him a whore covered in slavery and sewage, who then said to me, “Use me to heal.”
Now that… That is love. And that is worth fighting for.
And you don’t know, because they never told you…
Mental Illnesses are not “Illnesses” at all. Psychologists should have known better. Mental Illnesses are testaments of just how much YOU love YOU.
Self-Preservation is Love.
Truth is Love.
Elevation of Others is Love.
Nourishment is Love.
Kindness and Gentleness is Love.
When I was 4 and they told me “God is Love” and “God is Jealous” it shattered my belief in God, Love, and my Teachers and Parents.
“What is Love?” I asked… for 40 years. And not ONE person on this planet could tell me.
NOT. ONE.
NO ONE. Knew what Love Was.
So I had to descend into the Self to the Point of Comprehension where Pure Logic and Truth reside and I had to consult with Mother Nature herself who gave me an Imp King and an Alter to show me what Love is so I could come back here to tell you.
Self-Preservation is Love.
Truth is Love.
Elevation of Others is Love.
Nourishment is Love.
Kindness and Gentleness is Love.
The 12 Ethics. This is Love.
So when you pause The Rat Race Life to think on something deeper than laundry, Ponder This:
Just how many little things do you do every day that proves just how much Self-Preservation you have?
Because that… That right there… That is what Love is. That is what love looks like.
And then ask yourself this.
Does anyone, ANYONE, you keep in your life do that for you? And if they don’t, then what are they doing in your life to begin with?
Pick a side.
Pick You.
Stand up for your Self.
And Boycott The Unethical. Do it for Your Self.
Because You have done so much for you already.
You have no idea just how much you Love you.
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