This is one Course I never thought I would ever build. 

I was building my Parenting Course when it spilled over into this. My Sexual History is one that is Ugly, Long, Abusive… It began when I was 5 years old. 

Psychologists claimed that “My Sexuality was pre-maturely activated as a means to locate a Love-Nourishment Source due to the amount of Neglect I received as a Child.” 

They were wrong. 

My Sexuality was prematurely activated as a means to locate a Love-Nourishment Source due to the amount of Growing I was doing, and thus the Love-Nourishment (Input) I was getting was not at all equal to my Growth (Output).

It was not “Neglect.” My Growth Rate was just much higher than my Input Take. 

My 5 Year Old Sexuality was normal and healthy Exploration, and did not at all involve adults or pedophilia. But the shaming the Adults did do traumatized me. They taught me that my Natural and Healthy Sexuality was “dirty” or “bad” or “unethical” when, in fact it was Natural and Healthy. 

By 8, the Shaming from The Old Ladies in the Church for even “crushing” on a boy was abusively traumatic and unbearable. 

Their aversion to physical touching in Dance was toxic.

The Adults living in constant fear of Sexuality that they projected onto my innocence is what Traumatized me. Not at all the Sexuality.

The boy who molested me at 8 is what Traumatized me. 

The Rape Threats for “not obeying” that came from Highschool boys from 12 to 21 is what Traumatized me.

The rumors of which boys regularly ganged up and raped girls in Highschool, and the setting up spies in the Boy’s Bathroom to help tip us off which Boys were the Rapists… That Traumatized me. 

At 15, when I staged an Extraction to get a Girlfriend out of New York State — Safely — so I convinced my parents to use our house as a Safe House for two weeks… That was Traumatizing.  

Sexuality? That was not at all Traumatizing. 

Men were Traumatizing. 

The lack of Safety was Traumatizing. 

The loss of Consent and Freedom… That was Traumatizing most of all. 

How my Sexuality was used by others… Now that… That was Traumatizing. 

In May 2023, after I was Drugged and raped in a bar in Brooklyn by the owner of that bar, I became Celibate. 

That is when I learned just how Addicted to Sex I was. 

It took four months to cleanse the Addiction. 

Today, These last 17 Months, was the first time my Sexuality has been about ME and no one else. 

Sexuality is weaponized. 

The Church shames it. 

At 15, I was building my first Dungeon. I never tangled my Sexuality with my Abuse. I loved Sex. I love Men. I HATE Non-Consent. I HATE Ignorance. I HATE Unethical Behavior. 

So what is Sexuality? 

It is The Ultimate Human Bonding Process. It is not possible to not Bond during Sex without being severely, Psychologically messed up. In a Healthy Mind and Body, Sexuality will Bond you. 

It will Bond your Logical Comprehension, your LNA, DNA, RNA, and your Story. It will — and I mean this quite literally — turn your Bed Partner into a Co-Author of Your Story, which will be Integrated into One Story. 

It bonds your Atoms and your Cells. They become you. 

It’s like taking half of your Essence and exchanging it for half of their Essence. And this — I have no doubt based on what I have studied in Physics and Atomic Health — exceeds life times. 

Quantum Entanglement, on a level. 

It is a Ritual — A Formula. A Very Precise Formula. 

I’m at the Edge of my Research. Here — for now — I can go no further.