I remember the words of a dear friend of mine that changed everything for me. “You don’t know how to live calm.”
I was taken aback because I thought I was living calm, and I thought I was good at it.
In comparison to the life I had growing up, things were pretty calm. Only, they weren’t.
It would take me 8 years to truly understand what she meant by “knowing how to live calm.”
I am going to say something to you that you are not going to like. Many people argue with me about this… until they become mindful about their Power of Choice. People who live in chaos and turmoil believe that they lack the Power of Choice.
This is a false belief that your abusers have put inside of you. They want you to think that the Power of Choice is not yours. They want you to think that you cannot change your situation. Because you are their slave and they want you to stay obedient. They want you to continue to serve them. The best way to chain a slave and make them obedient, is to convince the slave that they have no Power of Choice.
But what if you did?
What would you change?
We create the chaos and the turmoil in our lives by choosing who and what elements and people make up our lives. Pause. Look around you. Either everyone and everything in our life was chosen by you, or you allowed another person into your life to choose for you.
This choosing is often done subconsciously and without mindfulness.
And that is the problem.
Your Subconscious is running and operating on “Survival” mode.
We have a number of Fail Safes imbedded into our subconscious at birth, during our fetal development. In the event that trauma happens, the Subconscious triggers the Fail Safes, and all the parts of the Subconscious go to work to protect the Identity at all costs.
A chaotic life is one where the Emergency System and Fail Safes have been turned on, but the Subconscious lacks the tools and the skills to turn them off when they are no longer needed. It requires the Conscious mind, YOU, knowing how and mindfully, deliberately, turning them off and soothing your Subconscious to get to a Calm life.
Ask yourself this… what does a Calm life look for you? What does your Peace look like? Imagine it. Be precise. Who is there? What is there? Where is there? What are you doing? What do you look like? Who do you wish you COULD be? How do you wish that version of you handles conflict and problems?
You have a Chaotic life because you are currently living out of alignment with yourself.
Self-Alignment is the core and the solution to Authentic Living.
Our Identity is composed of Five Elements:
Your Ethics. Your Beliefs. Your Actions. Your Voice. Your Perspective.
When these your Ethics and Beliefs combine, they form your Perspective.
Your Actions and Your Voice are the tools required… REQUIRED… to manage and maintain the alignment and the health of your Beliefs and your Perspective.
Abusers violently attack our Beliefs and Perspective.
This causes emotional pain, suffering, chaos, turmoil, confusion.
When you mindfully return to your Cognitive Core and your Identity and you re-align these Elements, you eliminate the Chaos.
The greatest challenge is locating the false-belief in your Alignment that has you convinced that YOU do not have the Power of Choice.
Someone in your life, past or present, has you convinced that you cannot escape, that you cannot change, that you cannot have the life you want… Your abuser(s) have you convinced that you require the abuser(s) in your life. The problem is, your abusers work very hard to keep you unaware that they are abusing you.
The Alignment of our Identity is the most important, vital part of who we are and what we are. Our life and happiness revolves around it.
The solution to this is to increase your self-awareness. Dig DEEP into your Ethic and your Beliefs. The chaos and turmoil is the loud objections from your Id and your Subconscious trying to communicate to you that things are not aligned.
Question everything. Your Subconscious has been manipulated into becoming the Agent of your abusers. Question the people in your life. Doubt everything. Do not trust your subconscious, your emotions, or your beliefs or perspective. These all may have become Agents of your Abuser.
How do you know if someone is an abuser? Tell them “No.” If they respond with respect every time, they are healthy and stable. If your “No” triggers a violent and/or disrespectful response from them, then they are an abuser.
Become a Healing Garden Member and get:
- The Identify Your Ethics Worksheet
- The Identify Your Beliefs Identifying Worksheet
- Full access to our monthly workshops (a $600 value)
- Our Full Masterclass 8-Week Course ($10,000 value)
- Weekly Q&A Session on Thursdays
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