Learn to Speak Subconscious

Dabbling in Abstract Theories is very difficult for some. Using players and places that are fun and imaginative, I have found that many people (myself included), find it much easier to grasp metaphorical abstracts with which to comprehend complex concepts.

I am a NERD with a deep passion for Fantasy and Science Fiction. I call this “Imaginative Make-Believe” or “Play Learning” to help people learn by simplifying dry, complex, BORING, Psychological concepts into colorful, fun ideas. Play is a hard-wired learning style in the Animal’s nervous system. Humans are Animals. If you have a problem with that, present your dissertation to Science.

This “Play Learning” I developed all began with “Jerry” in 2021.

And yes. This is Jerry like in Rick and Morty. Because I realized over the last two years that the Fear System in my Subconscious acted JUST LIKE JERRY screaming at the table “AH! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?” Just like we got to see in the opening scene of the Citadel of Ricks. I went, “Oh my god! It’s JERRY! What dip shit put JERRY in charge of my Cognitive System!?” This was enough motivation for me to FIX MY HEAD and GET JERRY OUT. Realizing that I was Jerry’s little bitch was all the motivation I needed to HEAL MY BRAIN. It worked.

May it also inspire you.

The Players

Identity AKA The Id – This is you. This is the Cognitive Self. The Cognitive Core is inside of the Identity. This is the child inside of you that (for some of us) screams from abuse. This is the child inside of you that lives on the 3rd Level. All that you love, all that you value, what you believe, what you want, what you desire. This is YOU. THIS is what the Rick lives to serve and protect. The Id.

The Subconscious AKA… Safety Operating System… AKA “The Rick.” It’s Mission: To Protect and Preserve the Identity at any and all costs. Rick spends a LOT of time on the 3rd Level with the Identity and making sure the Identity remains up and running. His primary function is to oversee the running and operation of the Cognitive Core. Which I imagine is very similar to the Warp Core that flies the Enterprise in Star Trek. In fact, in my mind, that is exactly what it looks like.

“The Jerry” – Fear Center AKA “The Fear Police” as named by Dr. Aziz Gazipura. The part of your Subconscious that is put in charge of Level #1 when the Emergency System’s “Red Alert” has been activated and won’t turn off. Jerry reports to the Rick. Jerry resides on the First Level.

The Conscious Mind – You. Little old 5% … You. This is the you who goes, moves, stops, pauses, thinks. You are the Motor Function of this whole operation. You are the one who reads this and says, “Oh, fuck this shit! Things are going to CHANGE!” That, my dear, is YOU. You are the Captain at the Helm.

In Freudian Terminology, I would call you the Super Ego. But, I don’t agree with Ego and Super Ego as Freud defined them. I feel his terminology (while highly innovative for his time) was also theorized (as is my stuff) and reflected the highly limited understanding of the times. Freud’s Ego and Super Ego concepts were highly effective at launching Psychology into a credible philosophy. But, Ego and Super Ego… Makes no logical sense to me and is, in my humble opinion, 19th century malarky.

Ego… Ego is an emotion. Ego is so misunderstood. Hence “egotistical,” which is synonymous with “arrogant” or “self-absorbed.” It is the Narcissist’s emotion that is used to mask weakness and incompetence or vulnerability. Ego is self-love, which we are often shamed for. Ego is what fuels the preservation of the Self. Arrogance and being Humble are related. But Ego… Ego is just self-love.

If there is any room for argument here, let it be known that Psychology IS first and foremost a branch of PHILOSOPHY. And that there is (currently) no way to measure any of this. Making 100% of the work I do HIGHLY philosophical. None of it is presented as fact, nor should it be.

Subconscious Levels…

Level #1 – Your Frontal Cortex. Where all inner-dialogue takes place. This is “Headquarters” in the Movie Inside Out. This is where happy and healthy people live.

Level #2 – Your Memory Mind Maze. You know what this is. We access it all the time.

Level #3 – Engineering. Cognitive Core where the Cognitive Alignment occurs. Your Identity and Rick are here a lot minding the Warp Core. This is as far as the Healthy Subconscious and Conscious Mind can go.

The Sub-Levels

Level #4 – The Proverbial Closet where Rick keeps all of your Skeletons. If Rick has something to hide from you, memories, events, “shameful” desires, truths, minor crimes, lies, marital affairs… Anything your parents or religion conditioned you to classify as “bad” like masturbation, A Core Personality Rick wants your Host-Alter to forget, this is where Rick keeps them. Criminals live here quite comfortably. Suppressed Trauma Memories are kept here. This is where my “Vegetarianism” was stored for 34 years. This is where my bi-sexuality was stored for 32 years.

This is the “Pit of Lost Memories” in Inside Out.

This is why I have an ethical issue with Hypnosis. There is no telling what is in Level #4. And I had my entire ME crammed down there for 34 years. No telling WHAT would have happened to ME if someone had messed around with Hypnosis.

Level #5 – The secrets so dark and disturbing to our Cognitive Core that we bury them UNDER the closet and so far deep down that even Rick has wiped his memory clean of them. I do not venture to Level #5. It scares me. It’s dangerous. I don’t like it. It makes me feel… Bad vibes are on level #5. Serial Rapists, Serial Killers, and Pedophiles live here on a regular basis. And they use Level #5 to keep their Conscious Mind from “slipping up” and admitting to their crimes. I don’t like. I don’t want to talk about it. It scares me. It scares anyone who is half-way decent.


Levels #4 and #5 are not places you can go to. At least… I could not. I don’t know if criminals can. I would have to interview criminals, and I am not inclined to do so. This is where I would ask a Forensic Psychologist to research this by interviewing criminals to continue my research. This is where my research ends. I will not ever touch Level #4 or #5. I came close once. When I was suicidal… In my darkest days… And it landed me in the Mental ER for 2 days while I contemplated shaving my head and cutting off my breasts. I won’t go back.

I suspect that this is where Jenny from Forrest Gump was when she was in the peak of her drug addiction days.

The Subconscious is the only one who can access those levels. And Rick brings things from Levels #4 and #5 to YOU. YOU do not venture down past Level #3. The Conscious Mind cannot. Joanna tried. When I (Angela) finally emerged, I had to come up. She could not come down. It’s because I lived in Level #4 that I was able to sense Level #5. Sense… I never saw it, but I felt it there. I hate it.

I hypothesize that a child who experiences on-going and severe sexual abuse becomes familiar with Levels #4 and #5. The adult pedophile who was abused as a child develops a sense of comfort with being on Level #4 and #5, which is one of two reasons why they repeat the crime as adults. The other reason is because they seek to “capture” the innocence that was taken from them. And this, right here, is probably the only time and place I will ever discuss this topic. I don’t like it.

And now… I have to take a break and do an Energy Cleanse and touch the sunlight.


Red Flag Emotions “There is a problem” and someone is messing with the System. Anxiety, Fear, Panic,

Emotional Processing – Shock, Disbelief, Surprise, Negotiation, Loss, Grief, Anger, Hate, Sad, Depression, Calm, Peace

Motivator Emotions – Fear, Impulse Urge

3rd Party Emotions – Guilt, Shame, Self-Hate, Self-Loathing

Societal Gaslighting

Cognitive Core

The Stages of Cognitive Alignment and Processing

Solution – “Cure” … Only “Cure” implies something is ill, broken, or requires “fixing.” And people are not broken.

Consequential Emotion – Panic, Anxiety, which are only present when Fear is present